Short dating period before marriage
Second, delete his number and block his calls from your phone.If you feel like you must say something before doing so, try: “I asked you to help a grieving widow sort through her husband’s possessions.Please do not contact me again.” This is not a question of appropriate compensation for helping a friend move because a) he did not, in fact, help very much at all and b) he’s already taken at least four times the value of what you agreed upon.Do not blame yourself for his aggressive yet low-stakes jerkassery—the behavior you’ve described is jaw-dropping, and it sounds like you had no idea he would be so boorish, so unhelpful, and so belligerently selfish.And while we are at it, how can I be better at picking men?First and foremost, give yourself credit for no longer dating this guy.Throughout the whole ordeal, he pestered us about which television he was getting.
Working out past trauma in a healthy, safe, solo environment is not unhealthy, but if you were to discuss this dynamic with a therapist, you might find a great deal of relief in articulating your desires, your disgust, your regrets, and your experience.
Several years later I still think about that man when I masturbate, and I feel guilty because I’m in a relationship, and I find my ex pretty gross. You may find it helpful to think of your fantasies not as a maladaptive compulsion but as a sign that you now feel secure enough to process some of the traumatic aspects of your previous relationship.